BUY LOW, CRY HIGH!

Your emotionally unstable guide to surviving the wild rollercoaster of investments with nothing but vibes, regrets, and questionable financial instincts. Whether you're panic-buying crypto at 3 AM or putting all your savings into a startup because "it felt right," this guide doesn't promise success—it promises solidarity. From decoding market charts that look like EKGs of a heart attack to explaining why your stock went down after you told literally no one, we've got you. This isn't financial advice—this is emotional support wrapped in finance memes. Because sometimes, you don't need a bull market—you need a blanket and someone to scream "HODL!" with you. Welcome to chaos. Invest accordingly.

30 Days of Cry-Fi™ Dose

Why settle for just one vibe when you can build your own emotional buffet? With our custom monthly package, you pick and mix from any of our services — pep talks, fake emergencies, breakup hype, awkward-exit calls, and more. Our in-built calculator auto-generates your bill with a sweet 10% discount, because crying is cheaper in bulk. You’ll get 2 hours of Cry-Fi chaos per day (1 service per hour), adding up to a whopping 60 hours a month. It’s basically like having us on emotional speed dial — but without the judgment or awkward small talk.

Want a Custom Pack?

Build your own monthly mix of Cry-Fi services. Get 2 hours a day, 60 hours a month, with a sweet 10% discount because crying in bulk is cheaper.

Just tell us which services you want, and we'll create a custom bundle just for you.

How It Works

  • Pick at least 4 services
  • Get 10% off
  • Flexible scheduling
  • 2 hours/day, 60 hours/month

Popular Combinations

  • Breakup Recovery
  • Anxiety Relief
  • Confidence Boost
  • Overthinking Partner

Where's My Money, Karen?

Category Service Price Description
DRAMA DEPARTMENT Passive Therapist ₹499/hr I listen. I nod. I say "Hmm." No advice. Just vibes.
Fake Call Service ₹399/session Oscar-worthy fake calls on demand. Excuses that feel real.
Instagram Story Spy ₹499/story Deep dive into cryptic stories & suspicious reposts.
Overthinking Partner ₹999/hr We spiral together & build imaginary Convo
Third-Wheel Companion ₹1499/hr I'll silently judge your date with class and sass(On-site only).
Break-up Talks ₹599/hr Break-up support with dramatic flair, and snack suggestions.
"Nobody Understands Me" Talk ₹499/hr You talk. I gasp. Emotional validation 100%.
TEAR SUPPORT Crying With You ₹999/hr Silent support + synchronized sobbing included.
It's Okay Repeater ₹599/hr I'll repeat "It's okay" until you believe it. Or pass out.
Sad Song DJ ₹499/playlist Custom playlist curation while you spiral dramatically.
2 AM Lonely Call ₹999/hr Midnight hotline for existential dread and tea spills.
Family Issues ₹499/hr We rant about your parents like it's a group project.
MENTAL GYM (NO SWEAT) "Just Talk to Me" Session ₹499/hr Ramble on. I'm here for your chaos. Fully charged.
Overthinking Dumping Ground ₹599/hr Empty your thoughts here. I'll hold them, judge-free.
COUCH VIBES ONLY Scroll Vibes ₹799/hr Comfy silence, mutual scrolling, minimal eye contact.
Mirror Mode ₹449/hr I emotionally reflect everything you feel. Cry level: twin.
Small Talk Sanctuary ₹699/hr Weather. Dreams. That one weird thing in 2016. Let's unpack.
Blank Space Sessions ₹499/hr No expectations. No talking. Just vibe in the void.
MIC ON, EMOTIONS OUT Funny Song Singing ₹799/hr Bad singing. Good laughs. Emotional detox via cringe.
"Say it Louder" Pep Talk ₹699/hr I yell affirmations until you remember who you are.
SOFT CORNER SERVICES Reassurance on Repeat ₹799/hr "You're doing great" on loop with bonus "I swear."
Midnight Companion ₹999/hr We scroll in silence at 2AM. You're not alone. Ever.
Gentle Listener ₹699/hr Soft "oh no's" and supportive nods guaranteed.
You Deserve Better Talk ₹699/hr We roast your ex. And remind you of your main-character energy.
Rent a Confidence Chillmate™ ₹999/hr Bad singing. Good laughs. Emotional detox via cringe.

Crying in UHD Pro Max Bundle

Bundle Name Price Included Services Description
Overthinker's Deluxe Pack ₹1299/session Overthinking Partner (₹999/hr)
Instagram Story Analyzer (₹799/story)
Passive Therapist (₹499/hr)
"Just Talk to Me" Session (₹499/hr) 		For brain loops and emoji decoding.
Break-Up Survival Kit ₹1099/session Break-up Talks (₹599/hr)
Sad Song DJ (₹499/playlist)
"You Deserve Better" Talk (₹699/hr)
Reassurance on Repeat (₹799/hr) 		We'll cry with you, not for you.
Ultimate Cry Session Combo ₹899/session Crying With You (₹999/hr)
It's Okay Repeater (₹599/hr)
Gentle Listener (₹699/hr)
Couch Vibes Only (avg ~₹699/hr) 		Ugly crying, beautiful support.
2 AM SOS Pack ₹799/session 2 AM Lonely Call (₹999/hr)
Midnight Companion (₹999/hr)
Mirror Mode (₹449/hr)
Blank Space Session (₹499/hr) 		Sleepless nights, emotional lights.
Drama Royalty Bundle ₹1299/session "Nobody Understands Me" Talk (₹499/hr)
Funny Song Singing (₹799/hr)
Fake Call Service (₹399/session)
"Say it Louder" Pep Talk (₹699/hr) 		Main character energy only.
Soft Soul Saver Kit ₹999/session Reassurance on Repeat (₹799/hr)
Gentle Listener (₹699/hr)
Small Talk Sanctuary (₹699/hr)
Passive Therapist (₹499/hr) 		For the emotionally exhausted sweethearts.
Soundtrack to Your Emotions ₹799/session Sad Song DJ (₹499/playlist)
Funny Song Singing (₹799/hr)
Mirror Mode (₹449/hr)
Couch Vibes Only (avg ~₹699/hr) 		Like Spotify Premium… but with empathy.

HOW TO BOOK SERVICES📝

  1. Pick Your Vibe: Choose a service that matches your emotional meltdown or mood.
  2. Read Our T&Cs: Don't skip the emotional fine print — we're chaotic, not careless. Click here 👉 Terms & Conditions.
  3. Make the Payment: No upfront payment = no heartbreak support. We mean it.
  4. Book the Call: Slide into our DMs, book your slot, and let the drama begin.

Need help picking a service? Cry about it, then message us. 🫶


Good Vibes. Bad Jokes. Real Impact.

Lezz Goo!!